Tonight, I encountered a set of twin memories -- both of early loves in my life, early feelings of trust, fulfillment, and destiny. Both of them failed on all three accounts, eventually, and were only able to survive my memory's solvent through persistence and genuine good tidings.
One was the son of Austin's boss, who looked very similar to Rob, my first boyfriend. He was a freshman in college, and was so abuzz with all the new knowledge his classes had bestowed upon him...
The other was clothing from Pennington, my first True Love, my first (unofficial) fiancee, my first appreciation of the finer life. At a (mutual) friend's secondhand store, Pennington's clothes were on sale. Literally. Shirts I remember him wearing when we dated, shirts I could probably still smell his scent from if I'd wanted to. Shirts I probably fell asleep against.
But neither of these ghosts reserve enough neural energy to bleach the full-color shine of Austin, in whom I trust, I am fulfilled, and with whom I'm destined to be.
We carved our strange moniker in cement, we mingled with families, and we will fall asleep tonight, wrapped in each other's arms and breath. This un-ghost, this matter to the anti-matters, this True One is my Austin. My end-game, my love. I am lucky to have had so many genuine, caring relationships. I am even more fortunate to have ended up in this one.
Austin, I am glad you are not a ghost. I appreciate your fleshness in my life, your eyes in my fovea, your name in my mind.
My life is the best it's ever been, even with my work situation, and I have you to thank for it.
I love you.
I will forever.