::A BRUSH WITH DESTINY, A.K.A. AN INSATIABLE ORAL FIXATION::

This weekend, I purchased a Mentadent White & Clean toothbrush. According to its package, it "helps give you clean, noticeably white teeth." While the verdict is still out on its production of noticeable white-ness, I have a few raves (and one rant):

Within and under the bristles, there's a "whitening ribbon," a zigzag of rubber designed to "help stain removal." I can't feel it as I brush, but its presence is comforting. To my fingertips, it's a substantial and tacky, and I can imagine its efficacy. I passed up other whitening doohickeys -- some Play-Doh-Fun-Factory-esque plus shapes, some stubby cylindrical nubs -- for the ribbon, mainly because on the back of the brush head, the rubber ribbon shape was fed through, seemingly more integral.

The brush boasts "micro-fiber cleaning bristles." I don't believe this. Micro-fiber? No way are there Buckytubes on my teeth. I suspect the commoner's idea of "micro-fiber" is anything a magnifying glass can't fully elucidate.

Heh, who am I kidding? The commoner's idea of "micro-fiber" is "really small fiber."

The only thing I hate is its handle. I got a red one (because the bristles and "whitening ribbon" were in shades of soothing blue), and the red rubber grippy-texture is startlingly like the stuff under a mushroom roof. Its wide ergonomicity also means that I can't fit it in my toothbrush holder. Damn.

(All said, a gleaming thank-you goes to Chad, my Partner in Raiding the Wal-Mart Dental hygiene Aisle and Fine Purchaser of Gum. Note: I put the hyphen in "white-ness" so I didn't annoy him any more than I already have.)