::THREE THINGS ONE SHOULD NEVER DO ON A FRIDAY::
1) Decide that the answer to life, the universe, and everything is nowhere near 42. Because that's not a prime number!
2) Forget to bring one's Aleve to work. Because contrary to popular belief, the theremin -- not the rhythm -- is gonna get you.
3) Slice the pad of one's left middle finger with Teflon-coated scissors. Because it hurts to type when your finger has a mouth carved into it -- a mouth whose screaming bloody -- well, blood
-- is only quelched by globs of antibiotic ointment and an unattractive, tight, khaki fabric bandage.